We sometimes take lightly how much we are influenced by the people we spend most of our time with because it’s so hard to recognize. It happens on an unconscious level. The desire to fit in is ingrained within the human we are. We are social by nature. This is very important to know because we may end up surrounded and influenced by people who don’t necessarily have our best interest at heart just because we don’t want to feel alone. Knowing who you are and having the ability to think for yourself in a world that values conformity is vital. Jim Rohn has a quote that is spot on and it says,”we become exactly like the five people we hang around the most”.
One of the most disheartening things I hear in almost every rapper’s song is how things change once fame rolls in. How their homies switch up on them once success came their way. Most of them, obviously, were completely unaware of their character. This is not a bad discovery though, it’s actually a good thing because the people who didn’t switch up, you can count on them. Success and adversity reveals who is truly in your corner. Yes, it may hurt that people aren’t who you thought they were, but that’s a great indication that they weren’t good for you anyway. A win win!
This conclusion makes us see that their care and love is conditional. A transactional mindset is by nature inauthentic and not to be trusted. Those who truly care about you, care about you, the human. Not the persona you play, or the skill God gave you to make a living. Not the star. Not the guy with all of the attention. Public figures still cry, make mistakes, they eat, they sleep, they experience pain. True care is steadfast and consistent.
Michael Vick, one of my favorite players of all time and one of the greatest in my opinion to ever play the game had a two part docu series come on ESPN. Safe to say I learned a lot about why Vick made some of the decisions he made. He bought houses for his “friends’’ to hang out in. One of his closest “friends” convinced him that it would be a good idea to purchase a bunch of dogs, keep them in terrible conditions on a property in his name and start a fighting ring. Now, I love dogs and I don’t condone what he did at all. But it brings the question up:
Would he have done this if he had someone in his corner that actually cared about him? Somebody that could look him in his eyes and say, “Vick, what you’re doing right now is wrong. It’s illegal and it will ruin your reputation. Maybe or maybe not, but it’s very evident that his circle of friends played a big part in his decision. True care is accountability. True care recognizes your potential and can see the good inside of you. True care never jeopardizes your well being or puts you in a situation that may damage your reputation True care is more an attitude than anything. A tone of voice that is trustworthy. Somebody who truly cares is someone that will say no for you when you can’t say no.
If you have that in your life, value it. It’s comforting, it’s rare, it’s sacred…