The Gardener
What grew in that garden,
I had to abandon.
Seeds had been planted,
& they manifested.
Thoughts become action,
pleasure, but a distraction.
Didn’t know who I was,
not even a fraction.
Imposter syndrome,
took over the dome.
A fallible clone.
Scared to be alone.
An imitation of men.
Who are of my kin.
Lost in their skin.
Going backward to win.
The cyclical nature,
Of filling the void.
Treating women as toys.
Keeping men as boys.
Accept who we are.
Align our body & mind.
And you’ll be fine because
you’re the gardener this time.
In this piece my intent was to shed light on the power of influence. We’re constantly being molded so we have to be mindful of what we consume and who we’re around. This poem was not easy to formulate because I had to take an objective look into my past to discover the roots of my destructive habits that led to immoral behavior . What I found left me with resentment towards certain people. Ashamed of myself. I felt like a big phony because my public persona didn’t match my private self. It sucked, but that confrontation was vital.
I understood the why behind my behavior and once you understand the why, you can eventually learn to accept. Accept that you F’ed up. Accept that you can’t change what’s happened. Accept that whoever steered you in the wrong direction didn’t mean to harm you. Their intentions weren’t malicious. They just didn’t know. Once you understand your roots, you have the power to accept, and once you have accepted, you’re now able to see the facts. Everyone is human, unlocking your compassion.
-ML
“Man will only become better when you make him see what he is like” -Anton Chekhov
June 26, 2020 @ 4:50 pm
Such tremendous growth in your garden already from your inward search. Keep on tilling, watering and nourishing as you bloom in the warm rays of the sun. You are a wonderful gift Marcus, thanks for sharing!
June 26, 2020 @ 5:07 pm
Encouraging to hear. I appreciate those words.
June 27, 2020 @ 10:32 pm
🤍🤍🤍 Powerful and beautiful. Keep writing. ✊🏾
June 28, 2020 @ 4:29 pm
Marie,
Thank you so much for your encouraging words.
June 30, 2020 @ 8:27 am
Marcus,
I’m not a social media guy, so actually I stumbled upon your blog by mistake. Man, I’m so glad that even mistakes can sometimes bring wisdom and gladness!
I am so proud of the man you have become. What you are now doing can impact many people and make an eternal difference in their lives.
It took me far too long to realize that life is about so much more than championships, trophies, rings, and better jobs. But thank God, I learned different before it was too late. My prayer is that I’ve made some small and lasting positive impact on the players to which I’ve been around.
You are definitely making a difference! And it’s so awesome to know that someone young such as yourself “gets it” and can have such a positive influence, even on an old guy such as myself!
I love you, Marcus! May God continue to Bless you and your family, as well as your work and your mission.
Coach Demp
June 30, 2020 @ 4:23 pm
Coach,
You made more than an impact. The example you set fifteen years ago still is embedded in me. Love you